The Funny Things Students Say: Teachers Tell All

As teachers, we have all heard the funny things students say.  Sometimes, if I write it down, I remember.  But most of the time, I am caught in the moment, and I easily forget everything.  I had a teacher who once wrote down everything funny that happened in class.  That was such a good idea, and I wish I would make the time to do it.  If you are like me, maybe some of these stories will jog your memory!  So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

 

I had a student who would raise his hand and say, “I gotta fart.” and he’d step out in the hall and do so. -Carla S.

 

In my 11th grade American Lit classes, I made all my students read a book and write a book review every three weeks. One day, while we were discussing books and book choices, one of my best students looked at my bookcase which was nearby. He said, “you know how you can go to the video store and rent videos? Someone should do that for books.” It was only about 3 seconds before he looked at me with that “oh duh” look once he realized he was talking about a library. -Stacy B.

 

 

While I was on recess duty and pregnant a student asked “If you open your mouth, do you think the baby can feel the wind?” It was adorable and funny. -Katie M

 

After noticing that one student only ever brought dry captain crunch cereal for lunch every day, I started my nutrition lessons early. We began by discussing sources of protein. Kids listed places we get protein (keeping vegetarian options in mind). We listed eggs, cheese, meat, nuts, fish, etc. The next day, my “cereal” student was so proud that she brought a healthy protein choice and opened her lunch bag to show me… Goldfish crackers! -Jamie K.

 

I teach elementary art. One day I had a student ask if she could start over on a new sheet of paper. I walked over to her desk to assess the situation and noticed she was desperately trying to erase her picture that she had unfortunately drawn too dark. When I asked what the problem was she said “I have tried and tried but I just can’t seem to delete this picture.” A sign of the times:) -Christi K.

 

During assessment a picture of a leg. Student said that is a dancing lady leg! -Karen P.

 

Student: How do you spell “apona” Me: Use it in a sentence. Student: Once upon a time… -Shari J.

 

Mom is it “shoot” I can’t say or “sh*t?” -Tracey B.

 

“Is everything on the internet true?”
Me: “no….”
“But what if you’re using a smart phone? Then it is, right?” -D.P.

 

During student teaching-
Me: “What is the name of this shape? (Rhombus)”
Class: “Ummm”
Me: “It starts with an R”
Student: “RECTUM!!!…no wait..that’s something else…” -Gina F.

 

We were doing our butterfly unit and I was showing my students our butterflies. I asked my students “What is happening to the butterflies?” One if my students chimes in, ” They are going through menopause!” -Jennifer H.

 

Once when doing a goal writing activity with fourth grade a student wrote that he wanted to be “sucksesful” at spelling. (Mission accomplished) -Beth A.

 

I teach 3rd grade. During a science lesson, I explained that moonlight is just sunlight reflected off the moon. Immediately one of my students asked, “Then why doesn’t it kill vampires?” -Peggy G.

 

A student said the difference between a crocodile and an alligator was that the crocodile stinks. She meant extinct. -Carla S.

 

Last spring, a precocious first grader in my school walked into her classroom one morning to find a substitute teacher at the front of the room. She went up to the substitute and introduced herself and the asked, “Are you Mr. ——-‘s prostitute?” The sub smiled and responded, “Well, I am the SUBstitute teacher. My name is Miss ———.” In a continued effort to welcome the guest to her class, the student turned and loudly announced to the rest of the class, “Everyone, this is our prostitute today, Miss ——-!” After more than 20 years, this may be my FAVORITE STORY. EVER.  -Joan S.

 

One year my student hurried into the room and very excitedly exclaimed, “We are getting FRECKLES today!” It took me a minute to realize he meant flurries. -Shari J.

 

One of my kinders was holding his hand over his throat…very seriously, he said I have a “hickie.” Immediately, I became alarmed. “Daniel, what do you mean, you have a hickie?” He paused a long time…like he was struggling for words. All of a sudden, his head popped up…he smiled and said “It’s OK, my hickies are all gone!” It was then I realized he was talking about hiccups. -Kristi G.

 

So one year when I was teaching kindergarten a little boy asked to go to the bathroom (the bathrooms where in our classrooms), I said yeas and continued reading our book. All of a sudden I hear ” look Ms. Brown I did it all by myself”‘ I turned to look and he had his hands around his ankles and he was bent over. When I asked him what he was doing, he told me ( in a ver irritated voice) ” I did it, I finally wiped all by myself”. My class of minders broke out in applause and he stood up and took a bow. I then told him to pull his pants up and wash his hands. And all the kids had to tell about the time they could do that. -Stephanie B.

 

I had one of my fifth graders tell me that he can’t wait to grow up and get a g-o-b. I asked if he meant j-o-b? And he looked up in the air and thought for a minute and said, “Oh, ya.” -Leann C.

 

I hope you enjoyed this post on the funniest things students say! I would love to hear from you, so be sure to share your stories in the comments!  If you liked it, be sure to pin it for your teacher colleagues! If you enjoy this space, be sure follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, and Teachers Pay Teachers to stay posted with the latest freebies, tips, and ideas.

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